4 Worst Pieces of Dating Advice You Can Receive by James Russell Lingerfelt
Everyone we know is a relationship expert, so they think. They'll dish out advice all day since they aren't responsible for the outcome of your decisions. When in doubt, here's some pointers based on research to to help you navigate.1. Choose someone based on physical attraction.
“Date with your eyes closed.” That’s much better.
No matter their appearance or build, it all fades over time. Does their inner beauty cause their outward beauty to shine? In our youth, many tend to believe that outer beauty reflects inner beauty. That's a mistake.
Years from now when the infatuation has dissipated, and we look at our partner, and all we see is their character, who have we chosen to share our life with?
What will he or she whisper into our ears when we lay down at night? Will they be pulling us down or building us up?
What kind of parent will they be? Will they love our children and help raise them to be unselfish, loving, ethical, and responsible leaders? Or will the children be verbally or physically abused, or raised believing they are the center of the world?
2. Trust them until proven wrong.
To trust someone and rely on them is dangerous when we don’t truly know them. It takes a good three months for us to begin knowing people. According to studies, it takes a good two-three years to truly know them.
Most of us put our best face forward in the beginning. Give the person time. Listen to their words and observe their actions in various circumstances.
The best place to see who they really are is when they’re at home with their families. Meeting the family should be one of the first steps in dating someone, not when the time of engagement is approaching. When we date someone, we’re dating his or her family. If we marry him or her, we’re marrying into that family.
3. Long engagements are a bad idea.
I cannot count the number of couples who said they didn’t begin seeing their partner’s true character until around the two to three year mark.
One girl said her boyfriend didn’t start yelling and screaming at her, becoming verbally abusive, until around three years together, and they had spent time together almost everyday. Wow.
I know people who dated less than six months and then married. It worked out well for some, but for most, they wish they had spent more time dating each other.
4. Ignore warnings from family and friends.
My friend John is a chair in Family Counseling at a university in Nashville. He said there were two common threads in the results of each divorce case study: Divorcees a) didn’t know their partners well and b) family and friends had made objections to their union.
Yes, family and friends can be jealous and unreasonable at times. But make sure that’s the reason they’re saying no, and not because they see things which we can’t because those infatuation chemicals are firing in our brains. “Love is blind” is a popular saying for a reason.
Read another popular post: Don’t Ever Apologize For Loving Someone – Not Ever!
Did you like this article? Check out these three coming-of-age love stories from the male perspective by James Russell Lingerfelt. Follow James Russell Lingerfelt on Facebook, Pinterest, YouTube, Instagram, Twitter or subscribe to his email list for updates.