8 Things Men Find Romantic

8 Things Men Find Romantic by James Russell Lingerfelt

Note: If these topics interest you, please see the following books whose writings helped inspire this article: Willard Harley's His Needs Her Needs and Gary Smalley's The Five Love Languages.

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You’re probably doing better than you think at romancing your man. Though it’s hard to define exactly what qualifies as “romance” when it comes to men, there are many things we men appreciate from our women. And when we know we’re respected and appreciated (don't miss this), it ignites the fires deep within.


1. If your man likes to give and receive gifts… 

Is there a material item or event he keeps obsessing about? Can you surprise him with it? 

Not only does gift giving show you care about his happiness, but that you were paying attention to his likes and that you respect him. 

Respect is key with men. “A man wants to be respected and a woman wants to be loved,” is a popular quote among family therapists. Imagine how different your life would be if everyone loved you. For men, replace the word “love” with “respect” and you’ll begin to understand the motives behind many of his actions and words. 


2. If your man likes to perform acts of service to express his love… 

How can you help make the events and occurrences in his day easier? What if you ran certain errands for him and/or prepared his favorite meal without him asking for help?

I’ve heard women attest that when they started serving their husbands, over time, their husbands began reciprocating. Sometimes leadership is volunteering to be the first to serve, even though there’s fear of being taken advantage of.


3. If your man likes you to join him in his hobby…

Can you cancel your plans and spend time with him in his hobby? One of the top needs men express is Recreational Companionship.

When he has things to look forward to, and he’s doing it with you, the woman he fell in love with, this can definitely rekindle sparks. 


4. If your man loves to spend quality time with people… 

Would you be willing to prepare (buying or cooking) a meal in your home and invited his friends and their wives to join you? Then, give the boys guy time afterward. 

He’ll be refreshed in having that time with the people he loves most. Not only will your time planning and/or cooking for him will speak wonders, but he’ll associate those good feelings to your act of sacrificial love, and that’s a huge plus for your relationship.

On my brother’s birthday, his wife will call all his friends (even if there’s some she doesn’t care for), and they’ll all surprise him at his favorite restaurant. He thinks that’s awesome.


5. If your man loves to shower people with words of affirmation… 

What if you made a list of things you admire and respect about him and give it to him or leave it for him to find?

Any man would love receiving a letter from his wife, telling him what she admires and respects about him.

The greatest complaint men have is that their wives don’t respect them. I’ve heard it from many men: “I have my daily struggles, my insecurities, my fears, my unmet hopes and dreams, but I do the best I can to provide for my wife and family. And I rarely feel appreciated for it.”

We men are horrible self-critics. The weight of the world can be on our shoulders and we’ll say our day is just fine. 

Maybe it’s because the older men in our lives taught us to be tough, suck it up, and do our duty. Or maybe we’re biologically wired to serve as providers/protectors and feel ashamed when our ability to fulfill that role is jeopardized. 

But I know this. The greatest compliment a boy will ever receive is when the father figure in his life pats his shoulder at a well-deserved moment and says, “You did good, young man.” As a man, if he hears similar comments from people he loves or respects, he’ll light up like a firefly.


6. If your man’s a touchy-feely kinda guy or if he loves sex…

You already know what he likes in that arena. If not, just ask. If he doesn’t believe you truly want to know, just try different things until he tells you what feels good.


7. If your man loves to see you looking beautiful…

We all love to see our lady in sweats and a t-shirt. Especially if it’s our t-shirt. But the next time you are out in public together for an outing or event, put extra time into your appearance.

Men like to be proud of how their spouse looks and behaves. No man aspires to marry a woman who has stopped caring about the way she looks. 

Men love to brag about and show off their wives. This isn’t about some sort of trophy wife parade, but it reflects his genuine appreciation of you.

When men have a companion who takes care of herself, she helps him look good in front of his friends, peers, and colleagues. “She takes care of herself because he takes care of her,” they think to themselves. 


8. If your man likes public affection…

While you’re having your evening out, consider looping your arm in his, hold his hand, lean your head on his shoulder, or just be right there at his side. You probably already know what he likes and is comfortable with. If not, just ask.

You’re telling him (and all those watching) that this man’s important, you respect, admire, and can depend on him, and that you’ll be there for him when he needs you.


9. If – No, ALL men want to love to come home.

When he comes home, show him you’re glad he’s there, and that you’re glad you married him, however that is manifested. 

​Over time, if he knows home is a safe and welcome place and that he’s loved there for whom he is, he’ll come to a place where he can’t wait to come home to be with you. 

Men are sensitive to how they match up with other men. The money they make, the house and/or neighborhood they live in, the vehicles they drive, the schools their children go to, how their children perform, how other men treat their partners and children, etc. 

He may often wonder if you’re still happy you decided to marry him. 

We men like to feel secure in our beliefs, values, decisions, our accomplishments, etc. This never ends. Ambition means a lot to us men. When goals are met, new ones are set.

Read another popular post: Don't Ever Apologize For Loving Someone – Not Ever!










Did you like this article? Buy 
The Mason Jar, a coming of age love story from the male perspective by James Russell Lingerfelt. The novel helps readers find healing after severed relationships. 

Alabama Irish, the sequel to The Mason Jar, is now available. Buy it now! This coming of age love story teaches readers the necessity of honesty and openness in the pursuit of loving, long-lasting relationships.


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2 comments

  • Dana Harris

    Dana Harris Virginia

    Thank you for this post, truly. Being married to a strong, silent type who doesn't share his feelings easily makes it very difficult to understand what may be important to him that I can offer. As a woman with totally different needs, I sometimes misinterpret silence and little signs of emotion as indifference or apathy. After reading your post I feel like I've just found the opposing team's playbook.

    Thank you for this post, truly. Being married to a strong, silent type who doesn't share his feelings easily makes it very difficult to understand what may be important to him that I can offer. As a woman with totally different needs, I sometimes misinterpret silence and little signs of emotion as indifference or apathy. After reading your post I feel like I've just found the opposing team's playbook.

  • jamesrussell.org

    jamesrussell.org

    Good thoughts Dana.

    Good thoughts Dana.

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