5 Signs It’s Time to Move On... From That Person by James Russell Lingerfelt
When we’re in love, it's difficult to look at our relationship objectively. We tend to dwell on the beauties of the relationship and make excuses for our loved one when he or she behaves badly. Here's 5 signs it's time to move on.
1. Are they trying to change you?
If so, they don’t love who you are right now. You’re not "good enough."
You have family and friends in your life who believe you’re freaking awesome. Listen to them rather than people who don’t truly know you.
2. Do they treat you badly but say they love you?
What are their actions over long periods of time? My grandfather taught me, “Don’t pay attention to what people say. Pay attention to what they do.”
In my experience, people say a lot depending on their views or emotions at that given time and place. If they say they love you but don’t like spending time with you unless you’re doing them favors… they don't value you as much as the loved ones you already have in your life.
3. Do you place effort in trying to make them love you more?
You feel like you’re the only one trying in the relationship. What happened to meeting each other in the middle?
When my dad and brother married, they said loving and marrying their wives was a very natural progression. They never had to perform for her or try to talk her into anything. The love and respect with their women was mutual and it blossomed naturally.
If you’re forcing everything or if you give and give, and they take and take... aren't there other people already in your life who deeply love you? Can you make better use of your time and energy investing into their lives?
4. Do they value your charm and physical beauty more than your character?
Our charm comes in spurts and our physical beauty fades. At the end of the day, are they able to get enough of you? Are you able to get enough of them? That helps us discern “attraction to image” versus “attraction to person.”
5. Is he or she aloof?
If they’re always looking for someone they think could be a better fit, or if they don’t want to be seen in public with you... that's a clear sign to get out.
You can find a better fit for yourself than someone who treats you bad.
When I stopped asking myself, "Am I good enough for her?" or "Is she good enough for me?" and I instead began asking, "Are we a good fit?" my behavior toward relationships of all kinds changed drastically - and for the better.
I was in love once and only once, but things didn’t work out with her. Now my attitude is, “Until that comes again, I’ll stay in love with my family, my friends, my goals, and my life passions.” Adopting this attitude has resulted in my life being much, much richer.
Read another popular post: Don’t Ever Apologize For Loving Someone – Not Ever!
Did you like this article? Buy The Mason Jar, a coming of age love story from the male perspective by James Russell Lingerfelt. The novel helps readers find healing after severed relationships.
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